Last night my lover and mine relationship fell into the danger zone of breaking and it's almost FUBAR. I contemplated suicide when I came to realized to my county I'm a 9 digit number, to my family I'm the failure child that will amount to nothing, to my friends online I'm just text with Soldierfromtheabyss: attached to it. When life was down to he point I consider my self useless to the point of thinking 'What's the point of living anymore.' I held the the object that would take my life a boot knife I carried since my failed attempt at it 2 years ago, I held in my hand ready to stab it into my dispassionate heart when a Golden Draconic Angel I know stop me she cared for a nobody like me she cared for my well being she screamed at me when I lost connection and had to sign back on...... She would ..... miss me when no one else would.... She remember my Real name when I only told it to her once she would feel horrible if I done it and she had the power to stop me. "Why?" I asked "Why do you care for a nobody one who has nothing left to live for, nothing to look forward to whose Heart has no passion who can watch as the world crumbles around me ?" Her answer shock me "Cause you are a living, breathing, person, you feel hate you feel envy, you feel joy and happiness you are not Text to me, your not a 9 digit number." while I rant on about not caring that nobody will miss me that I will disappear into memories and fade away forever like so many others, she went on, on how I will be missed by her how she would miss talking to me, miss how I listen to her.

She told me suicide was a give up and miss out on big things that could happen in my life she never gave up when I consider myself unsaveable a nobody with no purpose in life but she pulled me out of my dark depression she pulled me from the breaking point of plunging a boot knife in my heart and I thank my Golden Draconic Angel for it for reaching out to a hideous Blue like me. Reaching out and pulling me from the darkness that nearly consumed my soul and heart, my current relationship may not be savable, but she told to strive on and on and not let it destroy me and told me to look forward to new things.

Thank you my Gold Draconic Angel Thank you........